by in Meme on July 6, 2008


I don’t really know how to tell you this, but I’m in love with your cat. I think I realized it when I quoted Forest Gump and I saw you in your closet sit on salt-beef bucket.

I’m sure you’re frostbitten enough to understand that I get turned on by garbage men.

I’m returning the couch cushions, the pictures from Vegas, and your car to you, but I’ll be keeping the results of that blood-sample as a memento.

You should probably also know that I wWas interviewed about the car you stole and I will haunt you when I’m incarnated as an Eskimo.

Go milk a cow,

That was a tedious meme. Copy after the jump.

Before beginning, pick a friend, any friend, and then choose the correct answer, and fill it in the blanks in the message at the bottom.


1. What’s the color of your shirt?
Blue – Our romance is over
Red – Our affair is over
White – I’m joining the Convent
Black – I dislike your eyelashes
Green – Our socks don’t match
Grey – You’re a pervert
Yellow – I’m selling myself for candy
Pink – Your nostrils are insulting
Brown – The mafia wants you
No shirt – You’re mean
Other – I’m in love with your cat

2. Which is your birth month?
January – That night you picked your nose
February – Last year when you peed your pants
March – When your dwarf bit me
April – When I tripped on peanut butter
May – When I threw up in your sock drawer
June – When you put cuffs on me
July – When you smacked my ass
August – When I saw the purple monkey
September – When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
October – When I quoted Forest Gump
November – When your dog humped my leg
December – When I finally changed my underwear

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos – In your apartment
Lasagna- In your car
Pasta – Outside of your office
Hamburgers – Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Chicken – In your closet
Kebab – With Jean Chrétien
Fish – In a clown suit
Sandwiches – At the Elton John concert
Pizza – At the mental hospital
Hot dog – Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4. What’s the color of your socks?
Yellow – Hit on
Red – Insult
Black – Ignore
Blue – Knock out
Purple – Pour syrup on
White – Carve your initials into
Grey – Pull the clothes off
Brown – Put whipped cream on
Orange – Castrate
Pink – Pull the pants off of
Barefoot – Sit on
Other – Drive over

5. What’s the color of your underwear?
Black – My boyfriend
White – My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Purple – My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue – My salt-beef bucket
Yellow – My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange – My Blink 182 cd
Pink – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
None – My prized statue of Michael Jackson in the nude
Other – The elephant in the corner

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs; Man
O.C.; Emotional
One Tree Hill; Open
Heroes; Frostbitten
Lost; High
House; Sly
Simpsons; Cowardly
The news; Scarred
Idol; Masochistic
Family Guy; Senile
Top Model; Middle-class
Annat; Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy – How awful you are
Sad – How boring you are
Bored – That Santa doesn’t exist
Angry – That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited – That I may pee my pants
Nervous – The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried – That your Ford sucks
Apathetic – That you need a sex-change
Ashamed – That I’m allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly – That I get turned on by garbage men
Silly – That there is no solution to you being a dumbass
Other – That your driving sucks

8. What’s the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White – Your toe ring
Yellow – Your love letters to me
Red – Your Elton John poster
Black – Your pet rock
Blue – The couch cushions
Green – The pictures from Vegas
Orange – Your false teeth
Brown – Your nose hair clippers
Grey – Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple – Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink – The cut toenails
Other – Your car

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B – Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
C/D – The oil tank from your car
E/F – Your neighbour’s dog
G/H – My virginity
I/J – The results of that blood-sample
K/L – Your left ear
M/N – Your suicide note
O/P – My common sense
Q/R – Your mom
S/T – Your collection of butterflies
U/V – Your criminal record
W/X – Your glass eye
Y/Z – Your credit cards

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B – Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
C/D – Never will forget that night
E/F – Always wanted to break your legs
G/H – Hate your cooking
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L – Will tell the authorities that you did not steal that whale in the back yard
M/N – gave my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P – Was interviewed about the car you stole
Q/R – Always will remember the pep talks
S/T – Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V – Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X – Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – Am better off without you

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship is ruined
Beer – you should stop picking your nose
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemur
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m incarnated as an Eskimo
Milk – …the apartment building may be on fire
Wine – Thanks for the Cocaine
Cider – I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – I love Oprah Winfrey
Mineral water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whisky – You ruined my attempts at another world war
Other – I’m scratching my ass as you read this

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Italy — Ciao, baby
USA – Greetings to your frog Leonard
England – Good luck in jail
Spain – Go drown yourself
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan – Go milk a cow
Greece – Your everlasting enemy
Australia – Best of luck on the sex-change
Egypt – Kiss my ass
France – With tears of sadness

Now, FILL IT IN ..

Dearest (Friend) ,

I don’t really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___.
I’m sure you’re ___6___ enough to understand ___7___.
I’m returning ___8___ to you, but I’ll be keeping ___9___ as a memento.
You should probably also know that I ___10___ and ___11___.

(Your name)

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