EQ
Rate yourself on the following items on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being the low and 5 high). This exercise aims at fact-finding and not fault-finding, and is intended to help you focus on areas for self-improvement.
1. I stay relaxed and composed under pressure – 4
2. I can identify negative feelings without becoming distressed – 4
3. I stay focused (not lost in unimportant details) in getting a job done – 4
4. I freely admit to making mistakes – 3
5. I am sensitive to other people’s emotions and moods – 4
6. I can conceive feedback or criticism without becoming defensive – 4
7. I calm myself quickly when I get angry or upset – 3
8. I communicate my needs and feelings honestly – 2
9. I can pull myself together quickly after a setback – 3
10. I am aware of how my behavior impacts others – 4
11. I pay attention and listen without jumping to conclusions – 4
12. I take regular time out (once a month or a quarter) to reflect on my core purpose and vision for how I want to live my life – 4
Add up all the numbers you have encircled to determine your overall score, and hereunder is what your total score means:
Your Score – 43
12 – 24
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Your frankness is commendable. Although you may be a technical wizard or have very high IQ, your EQ is on the low side. It appears you may have some work to do. If you scored in this range, you may find yourself blowing up at people, depressed, or losing sight of where you are in life.
• Are you stopping and waiting to let strong emotions pass before you react?
• Are you allowing the ‘winds’ of change to direct you – instead of setting your own course based on an internal compass?
• Are you responding to life and its challenges with fear and insecurity rather than passion and purpose?
Don’t despair! Emotional intelligence is not set at birth – it can be learned and improved. If life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond, then we hold the power to create the lives we want!
25 – 34
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People in this range often find themselves blowing up at their co-workers, even their loved ones. They seem to have less ‘buffer’ for dealing with change, stress and difficulty. Some people also report depression or feeling ‘lost’ in life.
• Are you allowing the ‘winds’ of change to direct you – instead of setting your own course using an internal compass?
• Are you responding to life and its challenges with fear and insecurity rather than passion and purpose?
EQ can be learned and improved – with big payoffs ! Studies of entrepreneurs and employees at some of the world’s top organizations, show that EQ counts for twice as much as IQ and technical skills combined in defining who will be a star.
Improving EQ results in better relationships, greater health and a happier outlook on life! Areas to work on: Given that self-awareness is the foundation of EQ, you might want to start here on the road to higher EQ. Ask yourself :
• What situations generally create tension and stress for you?
• How are you handling these situations?
• What negative thoughts play over and over in your mind on a regular basis? Are these a true picture of reality?
• Are you afraid to share your needs and feelings with others?
• Is it because you are taking care of everyone else – being a martyr – or acting ‘ the strong, silent type’?
If we have trouble expressing our emotional needs – if we regularly put others needs before our own – there’s a good chance that we will one day wake up feeling empty, hostile, or depressed. Don’t let this happen to you! Take care of yourself! Express your key needs. It may be difficult at first – but research shows it will be a win-win. So move into the ‘zone of discomfort’ to express those needs and you will be rewarded for your hard work several times over! This is one of the key steps to building emotional intelligence. You will be happier – and those around you will understand you better, and be grateful for the feedback. Remember, if life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond, then we hold the power to create the lives we want!
35 – 44
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You have slightly above average EQ – with room to grow!
You are likely sensitive to the emotional climate of the people around you – your peers, friends, family and key clients. You are well aware of the effect your behaviour has on others. Still, while you may be adept at tuning into others and their needs – you must remember your own! Don’t be afraid to honestly communicate these difficult needs and feelings. The world is well stocked with martyrs – it doesn’t need any more!
Think also about your passion for work (or whatever constitutes your main roles in life – manager of people, doer of tasks, ‘meeter’ of clients’ needs, etc).
We spend countless hours in our given roles – sometimes without much joy or satisfaction. In the process we become tranquilized by the trivial. Sedated by the small details of life. Sure, the laundry needs doing, the groceries need getting, the kids need chauffeuring, the deadlines must be met, but we also need to stop and remember what gives us great joy and meaning. If we fail to remind ourselves (on a regular basis), we risk becoming hostile and cynical. We lose our purpose. And this translates to a diminished ability to be effective, at ease and fulfilled. Areas to work on: Ask yourself: –
• What situations generally create tension and stress for you? How are you handling these situations?
• What negative thoughts play over and over in your mind on a regular basis?
• Are these a true picture of reality?
• Are you afraid to share your needs and feelings with others ? Is it because you are taking care of everyone else – being a martyr – or acting ‘the strong, silent type?
• What 3 things give you the greatest meaning in your life?
If you work on gaining clarity in these areas, you will move toward maximizing your full potential and finding greater effectiveness, happiness, and fulfillment in your life. As William James said: I have no doubt whatever that most people live, whether physically, intellectually, or morally, in a very restricted circle of their potential being. They make use of a very small portion of their possible consciousness… much like a man who, out of his whole body organism, should get into the habit of using and moving only his little finger… We all have reservoirs of life to draw upon, of which we do not dream.
45 – 54
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Congratulations!
You have very high emotional intelligence. This is good news! EQ counts for twice as much as IQ and technical skills combined in determining who will be a star performer.
Your level of EQ likely has been and will be a driver of your high performance for years to come. Areas to work on: While you are doing well – don’t forget to take time out of your busy day-to-day activities to stop and reflect on what brings you the greatest meaning in your life. If we fail to do this on a regular basis, we risk becoming tranquilized by the trivial. Sedated by the small details. Yes, deadlines need meeting and goals must be achieved. But if we are working toward goals that are not in alignment with our key values and greater purpose, we face becoming hostile and cynical – losing the reason we are doing ‘all of this’ in this first place! This translates into less joy and enthusiasm for our work – resulting in a diminished ability to be effective, at ease, and on purpose.
55 – 60
Congratulations on your exceptional EQ!
You work in a Sanctuary – a place that welcomes your soul. We are impressed!
If you scored in this range, there is a slight caveat however. You are either extremely high in emotional intelligence or extremely low. How is this possible?
These results may reflect your high level of self-knowledge or your complete lack of it since you must be self-aware to assess yourself accurately. For this reason, self-awareness is the foundational competency of emotional intelligence! You may want to seek clarification from a peer, co-worker or family member to validate your score. You have either made it to the top or have a long way to go.
